


I Deserve A Thousand Deaths For What I've Done To You

by MorganaGreenleaf



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Archangel Gabriel (Supernatural), Background Asmodeus (Supernatural), Blood, Dying Dean Winchester, Episode: s03e11 Mystery Spot, Gabriel Has Self-Esteem Issues (Supernatural), Grieving Sam Winchester, Hurt Gabriel (Supernatural), I'm Sorry, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Pain, Regret, Sad Ending, Sad Gabriel (Supernatural), Sad Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester Has a Crush on Gabriel, Suicidal Gabriel (Supernatural), Suicide, Tears, gabriel commits suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:02:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25328236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaGreenleaf/pseuds/MorganaGreenleaf
Summary: Gabriel regrets his actions at Mystery Spot, and takes matters into his own hands.Sam finds his body in his bathroom
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 42





	I Deserve A Thousand Deaths For What I've Done To You

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: Suicide.  
> There is also blood.
> 
> Please don't read if this is an issue for you.

Sam and Cas arrived back at the bunker at five minutes past midnight, exhausted. They'd just been kicked out of the hospital Dean was staying in, 'to let him rest in peace and quiet'.

Not long after a witch had cast a spell that stopped Cas from using his grace, Dean had developed a cancerous tumor in his heart.

The doctors gave him two months to live.

They had prayed, but no help from Heaven came.

Sam had visited dozens of crossroads, summoned dozens of demons, but none of them would make a deal with him.

Rowena had tried to heal the tumor, but they discovered it was growing magically-and there was no way to stop it.

Sam traipsed into his room and flopped onto his bed, not even bothering to take his shoes off. His hand landed on something wet. He reached over to his bedside table, and flicked the lamp on. There was a tiny spot of blood on his bed.

Sam was instantly on alert, and pulled a gun from his waistband. He cocked it, and carefully checked under his bed, and in his wardrobe. No one there. That left his ensuite.

He carefully eased the door open and turned on the light. He gasped.

Gabriel was lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, the archangel blade in his chest.

"Cas!" Sam screamed. He heard footsteps coming from the other end of the bunker. Damn that witch's spell.

Sam picked up a piece of paper on the floor. He unfolded it, and a beautiful golden feather fell out, and drifted to the floor. Sam read the letter.

_Dear Sam,_   
_I'm sorry to leave my corpse in your bathroom, but I suppose you're pretty good at disposing of them._

_Now probably isn't the best time for you to deal with this, but I can't live with myself anymore. I killed Dean over 100 times. Now he's dying for real-and I can't watch that happen. Your pain, which I caused over 100 times._

_I did what I thought was right, but I was so, so wrong. And there's nothing I can do to make it better. Except this-your revenge. I like to think you wouldn't kill me, so I did it for you. It must be good to know your brother's murderer is dead. I deserve a thousand deaths for what I've done to you._

_I can't be the Trickster unless I give myself justice too._

_I'm sorry._

_Gabriel_

Sam covered his mouth, trying to contain his sobs. Tears leaked out of his eyes and dripped onto the note.

Cas finally arrived, and ran straight to Gabriel's side, kneeling in his blood.

"Is he dead?" Sam whispered, "I don't know how to tell with angels."

Cas shook his head. "He's gone. Gabriel knew what he was doing. He was a fearsome warrior once. The best I can say is he didn't suffer."

Sam broke down, and collapsed against the wall, crying. Cas put a hand on his shoulder.

"Why would he do this?" Cas wondered. Sam wordlessly handed him the note.

"It's my fault," said Sam. Cas shook his head.

"My brother made his decision. After everything he's dealt with, he just wanted it all to be over. Don't blame yourself. Blame Asmodeus and Loki, and Lilith for making that deal."

"How are you so calm?" Sam asked.

"Angels can't cry," Cas explained, "But I'm about to go find a liquor store. Want some?"

Sam nodded, and Cas left the room, Gabriel's blood dripping off his trenchcoat and onto the floor.

Sam hugged Gabriel's body, tears flowing freely over Gabriel's face, neck, and even as far as his chest.

Sam had so many regrets. Things he wished he'd said, things they could have done, but most of all, he wished he'd said he'd forgiven Gabriel. He'd forgiven Gabriel went he stayed behind to fight Lucifer. He wished he'd said that before Gabriel killed himself.

He wished they'd had time.


End file.
